


does this count as love?

by kihyuks



Series: monsta x bingo winter 2018 [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Childhood Friends, Friendship, Growing Up Together, Homophobia, M/M, Monsta X Bingo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihyuks/pseuds/kihyuks
Summary: the five times minhyuk and kihyun almost date and the one time they don't.(or, minhyuk and kihyun grow up together)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for the **friendship** square.
> 
>  
> 
> this is written in a differently style than i usually use but i like how it's turned out. i'm also posting this in chapters rather than as a one shot as i would've preferred as it's ended up being much longer than i expected and i won't get it fully written before the bingo is over. 
> 
> a note before anyone is disappointed: this fic will end with kihyuk being friends as the square it is written for is friendship. the final relationships will be kiho and joohyuk but they're very minor and so i didn't add them to the relationship tag. this is focused on kihyuk's relationship (exploring the border between platonic and romantic) - it will just end as a friendship.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kihyun and minhyuk meet. then they have a wedding.

**i.**

 

It’s a sunny Sunday morning when the new neighbours move in next door. Minhyuk sits on his front porch, idly playing with his toy truck. All of his attention is focused on the family next door. There’s a young boy with them and Minhyuk would guess he’s the same age as himself. He watches the boy as he assists his parents with carrying boxes into the house. He takes the smaller ones while his parents take the larger (and presumably heavier) boxes.

The boy looks over at Minhyuk while he’s carrying one of the boxes and gives him a smile. Minhyuk decides he wants to be friends with the new boy next door at that moment.

Minhyuk waits. He hopes the boy will want to play with him. It’s summer and Minhyuk doesn’t have any friends that live nearby that he can play with. He hopes this boy will become his friend and then they can play together every single day.

The boy approaches Minhyuk, all of the boxes finally moved from the van into his house. “I’m Kihyun.” He sticks his hand out to Minhyuk, giving him another one of those smiles.

Minhyuk stands and shakes Kihyun’s hand. “I’m Minhyuk. We should be friends!”

Kihyun nods enthusiastically. “Is that your truck?” He points to the toy truck which Minhyuk has abandoned.

“Yes. Would you like to play with it?” He picks the toy up, holding it out to Kihyun.

Kihyun takes the toy and sits down on the ground. He pushes the truck around, making noises that Minhyuk assumes are meant to sound like a truck. He doesn’t think they sound much like a truck but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to upset his new friend.

Kihyun quickly grows bored of playing around with the truck. “I have a trampoline in my garden. It was there when we bought the house,” he states.

Minhyuk takes a moment to realise that Kihyun is suggesting they go and play on the trampoline together. “I’ll go tell my mum so she doesn’t think I’m lost.”

Leaving Kihyun waiting outside, Minhyuk rushes into his house. He finds his mum in the kitchen where he expects her to be. He tugs on her sleeve to get her attention. “I made a new friend. He lives next door. Can I go over and play on his trampoline?” Minhyuk asks. He gives his best puppy eyes to convince her to allow him to go.

“You can go as long as you’re back by six,” she says.

Minhyuk nods fervently, promising he’ll be back on time. He rushes back outside finding Kihyun waiting for him. “She said yes. Let’s go play!”

Kihyun grins and runs off to the side gate of his house. Minhyuk wastes no time in running after his friend.

He sees the trampoline that Kihyun had mentioned immediately. It’s much bigger than he expected. “Your trampoline is so big!” he comments.

Kihyun nods and grins. He pulls himself onto the trampoline and begins bouncing. The smile doesn’t leave his face as he does. “Come on, Minhyuk. Bounce with me.”

Minhyuk rushes over to the trampoline. Kihyun helps pull him up and they jump around on it together, both giggling with happiness.

After exhausting themselves, the two boys lay side by side on the trampoline. “Why did you move here?” Minhyuk asks. He’s very curious to know more about his new friend.

“Dad got a new job,” Kihyun says. He plays with his sleeve. “I’m scared of starting school. I’m going to have no friends.”

Minhyuk grabs Kihyun’s hand which was fiddling with his sleeve. “I’m your friend. We can hang out together at school.”

Kihyun sits up, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Really?”

Minhyuk nods. “Of course. We can even be best friends.”

“I’ve never had a best friend,” Kihyun whispers, sounding small.

Minhyuk doesn’t like hearing his friend sound sad. He squeezes Kihyun’s hand tighter. “I haven’t either! But we both have a best friend now.”

“Thank you, Minhyuk.” Kihyun wraps his arms around Minhyuk.

Minhyuk hugs back, giving Kihyun a tight squeeze.

 

* * *

Minhyuk and Kihyun’s first fight happens in the same garden, only a few weeks later. As it’s the middle of summer, Kihyun’s parents have set up a paddling pool in their garden. Minhyuk and Kihyun have spent every day for the past week playing around in the pool.

Minhyuk loves going over to Kihyun’s house. It’s where they both spend most of their time. Recently, it seems like all they do is play around in the pool. As fun as it can be, Minhyuk misses doing other stuff instead. He feels like they never have variety anymore.

“Kihyun, can we do something else today?” Minhyuk asks. Kihyun had suggested that they go in the pool again when Minhyuk showed up.

Kihyun was already in his swimming shorts. “But the pool is fun.”

“We always go in the pool now. I want to do something different.”

Kihyun climbs into the pool and turns back to face Minhyuk. Minhyuk realises what’s coming the second he sees the grin on Kihyun’s face, but he doesn’t have time to react before he’s drenched in water.

Normally, Minhyuk wouldn’t mind because he’d end up going in the pool anyway. But today he was annoyed. He told Kihyun he didn’t want to go in the pool so now he’s soaked for no reason. “Why did you do that?” he yells.

Kihyun laughs. “It’s funny,” he says.

“I didn’t want to get in the pool. It’s not funny,” Minhyuk disagrees. He’s never been annoyed at Kihyun before this.

“Stop being a baby,” Kihyun complains. He splashes Minhyuk with more water which only further angers him.

Minhyuk glares at Kihyun then turns and goes into his house without a word. If Kihyun wants to play around when Minhyuk obviously wasn’t in the mood for it then he doesn’t want to be around Kihyun.

Part of Minhyuk knows he’s overreacting because he and Kihyun always act like this. A bigger part of him is too irritated to be around Kihyun right now. Instead, he looks around Kihyun’s house for a towel so he can dry himself off.

He says hello to Kihyun’s parents when he walks past the living room where they’re both sitting. He doesn’t explain why he’s dripping water all over their house while still fully clothed and luckily they don’t ask. He rushes upstairs, knowing there should be some towels in the bathroom. He feels guilty that he’s getting all of the floors wet but it’s really Kihyun’s fault so he decides he’s only partly to blame.

He finds a towel in the bathroom like he expected and does his best to dry himself off. His clothes are completely drenched, though, and he doesn’t think they’re going to dry so easily. With a sigh, he heads to Kihyun’s room. He’s borrowed clothes off Kihyun before so he’s sure his friend won’t mind if he does it again even if they’re in the middle of a small fight right now.

He changes out of his wet clothes and into some of Kihyun’s dry clothes. He hangs his clothes on Kihyun’s radiator even though it isn’t on because he isn’t sure where else to put them. He makes a mental note to grab his clothes before he goes home later.

Now that he’s dry, his only option is really to go back outside with Kihyun. He’s not sure he’s ready to have to talk to his friend again yet. He wants to cool off a bit first. He decides he might as well just play on Kihyun’s DS for a while since he’s already in his room. He’ll go talk to Kihyun again soon.

He quickly gets bored of playing games. If he really wanted to play games he wouldn’t have had to come over to Kihyun’s.

He decides he’s going to stop hiding in Kihyun’s room and actually go and talk to his friend. Kihyun was only playing around and Minhyuk doesn’t want to fight with him.

He finds Kihyun sitting on the grass next to the pool. He’s got his head in his arms so he doesn’t see that Minhyuk is outside.

“Kihyun?”

Kihyun’s head shoots up. “I thought you went home.”

Minhyuk notes that Kihyun doesn’t seem mad or upset at him - just confused. “I went to dry off and then sat in your room for a bit,” he explains.

Kihyun stands up and walks closer to Minhyuk. “I’m sorry for splashing you.”

“I forgive you. I’m sorry for being annoyed at you.”

Kihyun smiles at Minhyuk and goes in for a hug which Minhyuk takes as him accepting Minhyuk’s apology. He puts a hand out to stop Kihyun from hugging him which earns him a confused and slightly upset look.

“I don’t want you getting your clothes wet,” Minhyuk explains.

Kihyun narrows his eyes before smacking Minhyuk lightly. “Who said you could borrow my clothes?”

Minhyuk shrugs. “I make my own rules.”

 

* * *

It’s nearing the end of summer. The thought of returning to school is hanging over both Minhyuk and Kihyun’s heads. Minhyuk wishes summer lasted longer so he could spend more time just playing around with Kihyun. He knows he’ll still see his best friend every day at school but that’s not as fun as playing in Kihyun’s garden.

They’re playing together in Kihyun’s garden today, too. Minhyuk’s parents have a wedding to attend so Kihyun’s parents are watching Minhyuk. 

“I wish I was at the wedding,” Minhyuk says. He’s laying on the ground beside Kihyun who’s pulling grass out of the ground and sprinkling it on Minhyuk. Minhyuk lets him do it. It doesn’t bother him that much.

“Why? Weddings are boring,” Kihyun replies. He pokes Minhyuk’s cheek. Minhyuk doesn’t question it.

Minhyuk shrugs as best he can in the position he’s in. “It sounds fun. I wanna get married.”

Kihyun pauses. “Let’s have a wedding, then.”

Minhyuk is confused. “How can we have a wedding?” He sits up so he can face Kihyun properly and brushes the grass off of himself.

“We get married in my garden. I can get all my toys and they can watch.”

Minhyuk hums, considering. They have run out of new games to play recently and the trampoline got boring after the first couple of times they played on it. “Ok. Let’s get married. I’m not wearing a dress, though.”

Kihyun scoffs. “Well I’m not wearing one.”

“Fine.” Minhyuk pouts. “We’ll do a wedding without dresses.” Minhyuk pushes himself off the ground. He goes to Kihyun’s room to find some of his toys who they can line up as wedding guests. He grabs as many of the plushies as he can possibly carry and goes back to the garden where he left Kihyun. “I have guests,” he announces. He drops the pile of plushies to the floor in front of him.

Kihyun just shakes his head. He picks the plushies up off the ground and lines them up on the trampoline in neat rows. Minhyuk grabs another load of plushies as Kihyun does this and then helps to line them up.

After they manage to line all the plushies up Kihyun turns to Minhyuk. “I’ll be the person who gets us married, too. I went to a wedding before I remember what they said.”

Minhyuk nods in agreement. He’s only seen weddings on TV and he never focused on what anyone was really saying.

Kihyun grabs Minhyuk’s hands and pulls him a little further away from the trampoline. He makes Minhyuk stand faces him. Kihyun releases his hands. “Wait here. We need rings.” He hurries off into his house.

Minhyuk waits while Kihyun looks for rings. He feels dumb standing in the middle of Kihyun’s garden with an audience of plushies staring at him. Kihyun runs back outside when Minhyuk starts thinking about how many pairs of eyes are watching him.

Kihyun is walking down his garden, humming a song under his breath. Minhyuk recognises it as “Here Comes The Bride”. He decides not to make a comment about the fact Kihyun is indirectly calling himself the bride. When Kihyun finally reaches Minhyuk, he stops humming. He smiles at his friend and uses the hand that isn’t holding onto the rings to grab onto Minhyuk’s hand.

Kihyun coughs, deepening his voice. “Welcome to the wedding of Yoo Kihyun and Lee Minhyuk.” He’s addressing their audience of plushies. “If anyone has any protests, speak now.”

The plushies remain silent.

“So, Lee Minhyuk, do you take Yoo Kihyun to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Kihyun asks, still using the deep voice.

“I do.” Minhyuk takes the ring from Kihyun’s other hand (it’s actually a sweet in the shape of a ring, he realises) and slides it onto Kihyun’s ring finger.

Kihyun doesn’t say anything and Minhyuk realises he’s waiting for Minhyuk to speak instead. “Do you, Yoo Kihyun, take Lee Minhyuk to be your lawfully wedded husband?” He does his best to imitate Kihyun’s deep voice.

“I do,” Kihyun says through his giggles. Minhyuk’s bad voice acting must be funnier than he was intending. He slips the ring onto Minhyuk’s finger, still giggling. “You may now kiss your husband!”

Minhyuk isn’t sure whether Kihyun’s serious or not. He pulls his friend closer anyway, his eyes slipping closed. Their kiss only lasts for a second or two before they both pull away and fall to the floor laughing.

When they both finally manage to calm down and stop laughing, Kihyun asks, “If we’re married am I Lee Kihyun or are you Yoo Minhyuk?”

“You’re Lee Kihyun. I’m keeping my last name.”

Kihyun sticks his tongue out at Minhyuk. “Yoo Minhyuk sounds better.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

Minhyuk knows their argument is going to go nowhere. He launches himself at Kihyun, tickling him instead. He’s relentless and Kihyun eventually spits out a “I’ll be Lee Kihyun! You win!” in between his laughing.

Minhyuk smiles smugly. He knew his plan would work.

Kihyun glares at Minhyuk then bites the ring off his finger.

Minhyuk gasps. “How dare you.”

“I’m finding a better husband,” Kihyun jokes. He runs over to the trampoline covered in his plushies and picks up a stuffed dog. “This is my new husband.” He holds the plushie out in front of him showing Minhyuk.

Minhyuk only smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for minor violence in this chapter.

Minhyuk and Kihyun have been friends for a few years. Minhyuk still thinks of Kihyun as his best friend. He has a few other friends he met in school but none of them are Kihyun. 

Minhyuk is scared for starting his new school today. Kihyun is starting with him which helps his fear a little bit but he’s still terrified.

“Can we go home?” Minhyuk asks. He’s sitting with Kihyun at the bus stop.

Kihyun squeezes his hand. Minhyuk had grabbed his friend’s hand as soon as he’d seen him and refused to let go. “We’ll be fine. I promise.”

Minhyuk isn’t convinced. He decides to keep quiet. He has to go to school as much as he doesn’t want to.

The bus pulls up and Minhyuk doesn’t move. Kihyun pulls him up out of his seat and finds them two seats next to each other on the busy bus. People are staring at the two boys and it’s starting to make Minhyuk nervous. “Why do they keep staring?” he whispers.

Kihyun shrugs. “They can probably tell we’re new or something.”

Minhyuk accepts what Kihyun’s saying. Kihyun is usually right about things.

The bus ride takes about fifteen minutes and then they’re standing outside their new school which is filled with people, most of which are taller and older than Minhyuk and Kihyun.

Minhyuk gulps. “Any of these people could step on me and crush me.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Kihyun scolds. “You’re still taller than I am, at least.”

Minhyuk isn’t that much taller than Kihyun, but they had been the same height when they first met. As they grew older Minhyuk seemed to be growing much faster than Kihyun. He thinks he’ll still be taller than Kihyun when they’re both much older.

Kihyun makes the decision to walk into school first. Minhyuk hurries after him, not wanting to be left behind in the sea of strangers.

He finds Kihyun standing outside a huge hall filled with people. “Is this where we go?” Minhyuk asks. He’s scared to go inside.

“I think so,” Kihyun replies. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open. Minhyuk enters at the same time as his friend. He sticks close to his side, scared he’ll lose him amongst all the people.

Everyone is crowding around pieces of paper taped to the walls. Minhyuk isn’t sure what they’re all looking at.

Kihyun pulls him closer to the paper and Minhyuk realises they’re lists of names. “Are these our classes?” Minhyuk asks.

“Let’s go find our names,” Kihyun replies.

They have to wait for some more people to find their own names and clear out of the way before they get close enough to be able to read the lists. Minhyuk quickly finds his own name then scans the list for Kihyun’s. He doesn’t see his friend’s name on the same list as his own so he starts to worry.

“I found mine!” Kihyun announces. “Class 3B.”

“I’m in class 3A,” Minhyuk says. “I don’t want us to be in different classes.”

Kihyun looks upset, too. They spend all their time together and Minhyuk hates being apart from Kihyun. He knows it doesn’t mean they’ll never see each other again but it does mean they’ll spend significantly less time together as they’ll only be able to see each other when they’re not in class.

“We’ll spend all our time together outside of class, I promise.” Kihyun grabs Minhyuk’s hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze before he heads over to the line of people waiting under the sign for class 3B.

Minhyuk doesn’t want to go and wait with the rest of his new classmates under the sign for class 3A. He wants to go and stay with Kihyun in his class. He knows he can always make some new friends, but none of them will be Kihyun. Minhyuk isn’t the biggest fan of change and being separated from his best friend is a massive change that he wasn’t prepared for.

Reluctantly, he joins the group of people who are now his classmates. He awkwardly waits on the edge of the group. He doesn’t feel like trying to make new friends right now. Everyone is already talking to each other, anyway, and Minhyuk doesn’t want to interrupt.

He waits alone until the teachers arrive. Each of the teachers takes their new class down to their classrooms. Minhyuk’s teacher introduces herself as Mrs. Lee when the group arrive at their classroom.

They’re given a seating plan. Minhyuk is glad because he’d have no one to sit with otherwise. If Kihyun had been in his class he’d have been extremely disappointed about there being a seating plan.

He finds his assigned seat and sits down. It doesn’t take long for another boy to sit down next to him. “I’m Mark,” he says.

“Hi. I’m Minhyuk.” Even if Minhyuk isn’t in the best mood he still wants to be polite.

Mark smiles at him then turns to the front to focus on the teacher.

By the end of their first lesson Minhyuk decides he really likes Mark. He’s quiet but kind. Minhyuk thinks he could be good friends with Mark. Maybe being in a class without Kihyun isn’t so bad, even if it isn’t what Minhyuk really wants. He just hopes Kihyun doesn’t find someone new. Someone better. Someone else who can be his best friend.

Minhyuk knows his fear is irrational, but he can’t help but worry about it. He knows if he mentions it to Kihyun then Kihyun will reassure him. Maybe he’ll do that when they meet up after school. Kihyun always knows how to make Minhyuk feel better.

Minhyuk just hopes school only continues to get better for him.

 

* * *

It doesn’t get better. It gets worse, in fact. His friendship with Kihyun is the same and he now has Mark as his new friend, but there are some boys in his class who keep picking on him. He doesn’t know what he’s done to make them dislike him but they throw insults at him whenever they see him.

He tries to fake sick a few times. That way he doesn’t have to deal with the bullies. His mum never believes him, though, and sends him to school anyway.

Minhyuk knows he should tell someone about the bullies but they haven’t done anything too bad so he tries his best to just ignore them.

Minhyuk is late to his class because he left his textbook in his locker. He’s walking to his locker when he feels something hit the back of his head. It feels like a ball of paper. He tries to ignore it.

“Hey, shorty,” he hears someone call behind him. He recognises it as the voice of one of the bullies. Minhyuk knows it can only be directed at him. He isn’t even short but those boys are all taller than he is so they refer to him as ‘shorty’.

He tries not to react and acts like he hasn’t heard him. He walks up to his locker.

“Don’t ignore me, Minhyuk,” the same boy says again. Minhyuk still doesn’t know his name and doesn’t care to learn it. He thinks it starts with a M.

Minhyuk continues ignoring him. He rummages through his locker, trying to find his maths textbook.

“I said don’t ignore me.” The voice is a lot closer now. Minhyuk finally looks up to see the bully standing right in front of him. “Keep ignoring me and I’ll find your little boyfriend and do something far worse to him,” he threatens.

Minhyuk can only assume Kihyun is the boyfriend he’s referring to.

“I need money,” he says. Minhyuk just stares blankly, wondering what this has to do with him. “Give me your money.”

“No.”

That was obviously the wrong thing to say. The boy grabs Minhyuk’s shirt and pulls on it. Hard. “Give it to me. You know what’s going to happen if you don’t do what I say.”

Minhyuk thought it was an empty threat before. None of the boys had ever gotten physical with him. Now he wasn’t so sure. He didn’t want him or any of the other boys to hurt Kihyun. He nods meekly. He opens up his wallet and hands the boy all of the money inside. There isn’t much - only enough to afford a sandwich from the canteen - but the boy seems pleased with himself.

He grins at Minhyuk, waving the note around and backs away from him. Minhyuk doesn’t dare to move until the boy is long gone.

His whole body sags when he’s sure he’s finally alone. He’s extremely late to class now and won’t even be able to afford to buy himself anything for lunch.

Minhyuk doesn’t feel like going to class. He hides out in the toilets for the rest of the period.

When it gets to lunch, Minhyuk finally leaves the bathroom. He sits at his and Kihyun’s usual table in the canteen. He’s here earlier than usual as he didn’t have to wait in line to buy his lunch. He’s sure Kihyun’s going to ask him why he isn’t eating lunch but he’ll just say he’s not hungry. He doesn’t want Kihyun to worry over nothing. He’s also worried about what the bullies might do if he tells anyone about their actions. It’s best for him to keep quiet. 

He jumps when someone sits down across from him. It’s only Kihyun. 

Kihyun looks at Minhyuk suspiciously. “Why aren’t you eating?”

Minhyuk shrugs. “I’m not hungry.” At that moment, his stomach decides to rumble. He avoids looking at Kihyun. He stares down at the table instead. 

He’s still looking at the table when a tray of food is pushed into his vision. He looks up to protest only to find that Kihyun is gone. He looks around and sees him standing in line to buy lunch again. Minhyuk wants to protest and get Kihyun to just eat the lunch he originally bought, all the good food is going to have run out by now, but he knows Kihyun won’t listen to him. He’s always been really stubborn. 

Kihyun returns a few minutes later with more food. Minhyuk sits in silence staring at the food in front of him. He knows he should just eat it - Kihyun already paid for more food for himself - but he feels guilty that Kihyun had to spend extra money because of him. 

“Minhyuk,” Kihyun says. “Just eat the food. I know you’re hungry.”

Minhyuk pouts. 

“You don’t have to tell me why you’re not buying your own food and I won’t ask. Just eat. Please.”

“Okay.” Minhyuk picks up the sandwich on his plate. He takes a bite. He feels so much better after one bite of food and ends up quickly finishing off the rest of it. After he’s finished he says, “Thank you for buying the food and not asking any questions.”

Kihyun smiles at him. “That’s what best friends do.”

Minhyuk honestly couldn’t be more thankful that Kihyun is his best friend.

 

* * *

Minhyuk is putting some books away in his locker when he hears someone yell his name behind him. He recognises the voice as the ‘leader’ of the bullies. He ignores him and continues putting his books away. He knows from experience that ignoring the boys only angers them more but he doesn’t know what else to do.

He starts rushing, hoping to put the books away before the boys can reach him. He’ll run away if he has to but he can’t do that when he has a heavy bag full of books he doesn’t need.

Minhyuk finishes putting his books away and turns to leave quickly only to come face to face with the group of boys. There’s five of them surrounding him and there’s no way for Minhyuk to escape. All of them are taller than him so they tower over him. He feels small.

“You ignored me again, Minhyuk,” one of them says.

Minhyuk stares at the ground and hopes they give up on bothering him and just let him leave. It’s wishful thinking. He knows they’re not going to stop.

A hand roughly grabs his chin and pulls his head up. The boy who grabbed him is glaring daggers at him. “Answer me when I speak to you,” he hisses.

Minhyuk realises it’s the same boy who stole his money and he feels far more intimidated. “Ok,” he whispers. It’s quiet but it’s a reply and the boy looks pleased.

“Good boy.” He shoves Minhyuk back against the lockers. The locks dig into his back and Minhyuk lets out a small groan. The boys just laugh at him.

Minhyuk is scared of how this is going to go. He doesn’t know what the boys want with him but they’re not afraid to get rough with him and they outnumber him. He can’t do anything but hope they stop (unlikely) or someone comes to his rescue (also unlikely - school is over and everyone’s gone home).

“I need more money,” the leader states.

Minhyuk has no money and he’s sure the boys are aware of this. “I don’t have any.” He’s still whispering, too afraid if he speaks louder it’ll anger one of them.

Someone kicks his leg. He doesn’t know which of the boys it was, but he leans down to hold it. It hurts really bad and he knows he’s going to have a bruise there soon.

“You should’ve brought some money,” one of them hisses in his ear before he receives a punch to his stomach.

Minhyuk drops to the floor, curling himself up into a ball to protect his stomach from any more injuries. He can feel the kicks coming repeatedly. He doesn’t know if all of them are kicking him or how many times he’s been kicked already. 

Minhyuk can feel the tears streaming down his face. He doesn’t think he’s ever been in this much pain before in his life. It’s so painful and they don’t seem to be stopping. He wants to scream out in pain but he knows that it’ll only make them more angry so he keeps his mouth shut.

“Stop that!” someone yells. The kicking stops but Minhyuk doesn’t move. He’s too scared to move. “Leave him alone. You’re a bunch of bullies,” the person says. Minhyuk feels like he recognises the voice but his mind is fuzzy and he can’t place it.

“You’re just sticking up for your boyfriend. He’s only getting what he deserves.”

“Minhyuk doesn’t deserve this. Also I’ll have you know my father is the headteacher and I can get you all expelled. Touch Minhyuk one more time and you’ll never get into another school ever again.”

Minhyuk hears the sound of feet running away but he still refuses to move. He isn’t sure he even can move. He’s in so much pain.

A hand touches his shoulder and he flinches. “Minhyuk, it’s me.” It’s that same voice again. Minhyuk still can’t place it. “I need you to move for me, okay?”

Minhyuk isn’t sure whether to trust the voice. It could be one of the bullies playing with him. The voice doesn’t sound mean or harsh like the bullies, though. It sounds warm and comforting.

Minhyuk lifts his head. It takes a while for his eyes to adjust from where he’d been squeezing them closed so hard, but when they do he realises it’s Kihyun. Upon seeing his best friend in front of him and realising he practically saved him, Minhyuk bursts into tears.

Kihyun instantly pulls him into a hug, making sure to be gentle. He rubs Minhyuk’s back gently.

When Minhyuk finally calms down, he pulls back from the hug. He’s completely overwhelmed and without thinking kisses Kihyun’s cheek. Kihyun is bright red when he pulls away and Minhyuk is pretty sure he’s the same. “Thank you,” he whispers, too afraid to speak any louder.

“It’s okay. I’m glad I found you when I did. I was confused because I thought we were meant to be walking home together so I came looking for you.”

Minhyuk doesn’t reply. He just stares at Kihyun. He doesn’t think he can speak properly right now.

Kihyun smiles sadly at him. It almost looks like he’s about to start crying. “Let’s get you home,” he says. He helps Minhyuk stand up and grabs his bag from where he’d abandoned it on the floor.

Minhyuk is in a lot of pain and it makes it difficult to walk but Kihyun is happy to assist him with walking. He helps Minhyuk hobble all the way back to their houses.

Rather than letting Minhyuk go back to his own house, Kihyun takes him back to his house. “I’m going to make sure you’re okay before you go anywhere,” he says when Minhyuk looks at him confused.

Kihyun makes Minhyuk take his shirt off when they get to his room. He checks over for any major damage but he doesn’t find anything too concerning. Minhyuk will probably ache and be covered in bruises for a while, though.

Kihyun holds some tablets and a glass of water out to Minhyuk. “Take these, it’ll help. Also make sure you keep taking them regularly,” he says.

Minhyuk does as Kihyun says. Kihyun knows a lot about medical care - both of his parents are doctors - so Minhyuk trusts what he says. “Why did you say your dad is the headteacher?” Minhyuk asks, remembering back to how Kihyun had gotten the boys to stop bullying him.

“They’re idiots. They believe anything if there’s a chance they’ll get in trouble.” Kihyun sits down next to Minhyuk on his bed and grabs his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me you were being bullied?”

Minhyuk feels guilty for keeping things from Kihyun and vows that he’d never keep anything from his best friend ever again. “I didn’t want to worry you,” he admits.

Kihyun tuts. “We’re meant to worry about each other that’s what we do. If they start bothering you again tell me and I’ll take them all on.”

Kihyun looks so serious Minhyuk can’t help but let out a giggle. “You could never take them on but I appreciate the thought.”

“I absolutely could.”

“No way.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been 3983 years since i updated this i'm so sorry. i've been struggling with writing this chapter for months now and i'm still not satisfied with it, but i don't think there's much else i can do to it at this point so i'm just going to post it.
> 
> a huge thank you to the people who commented recently! you gave me the motivation to finally finish off this chapter.

It’s not like Minhyuk hasn’t ever considered the possibility that he isn’t straight. To be completely honest, he’s considered it quite a bit. It’s confusing, though, not knowing what his sexuality actually is. Normally, when the thoughts start rushing through his brain he pushes them away and tries not to think about it. It’s not just that he’s afraid (although that is part of it), it’s more that he’s just so _confused_. It’s easier to ignore the thoughts than to try and battle through the confusion to figure everything out.

This night, however, he finally ends up starting to truly think about it. He’s been watching random YouTube videos instead of sleeping (as he does often) and he’s found some random guy’s video. He isn’t even sure who it is but the guy mentions his boyfriend in the video and it gets Minhyuk thinking. Other people can be secure and comfortable with themselves, so why can’t he? He knows other people must’ve felt the confusion he’s been feeling.

Deciding he’s going to finally work through his thoughts, he clicks on the search bar and types in ‘coming out’. He’s only watched one coming out video before and it hadn’t been the most positive of videos. It had left him feeling slightly anxious about the possibility of being gay so he’d forced his thoughts down and tried his best to completely ignore them.

Minhyuk clicks on the top video and sits through the whole thing. The boy in the video talks about how he realised he was gay (he makes it sound so simple, Minhyuk isn’t finding it simple at all) and then about coming out to his family. The video was positive, the reactions had all been good for the boy and it gives Minhyuk hope that maybe it will all work out for him, too.

He clicks through a few more but most of them are fairly similar to the first one he watched. They’re not the same, obviously, as everyone’s story is unique but they all follow a similar format of the person figuring it out, telling their family and everything ends up being fine. It’s not that Minhyuk doesn’t want to see positive stories, it’s just that he wants to hear about all the possible outcomes. If he does realise he’s gay after all then he needs to be prepared.

The next video he clicks on starts off similar, the boy talks about how he figured out his sexuality and Minhyuk is almost tempted to click off, thinking it’s going to end the same as all the other videos he’s already watched. This one turns out different, though. The boy talks about how he decided to come out to his family after seeing a bunch of videos online of people’s stories and it didn’t go well. He got kicked out.

Minhyuk can feel himself welling up watching the boy on screen crying. It hurts him to hear how sad the boy sounds. Thankfully, the boy goes on to talk about how he has a lot of supportive friends so it didn’t end up being completely awful, but it’s still a sad story to hear.

After finishing that video, Minhyuk decides it’s probably about time he goes to sleep. His eyes are starting to sting from looking at his laptop screen for too long and he’s also got school in the morning so staying up much later probably isn’t the best idea.

After closing his laptop, Minhyuk lays there in the dark. Even though he can feel that he’s exhausted and he really just wants to sleep, he can’t stop overthinking everything and it’s keeping him awake.

He thinks about all his past crushes and realises he hasn’t really _had_ a crush on anyone. Well, he was slightly obsessed with that one boy when he was really young but he thought that it was just because he really wanted to be his friend. Could it have been a crush instead? Minhyuk isn’t so sure. He hasn’t had any past relationships so he can’t use that to help him figure it out. He’s kissed one person before but that person is Kihyun and Kihyun’s his _best friend_ so that doesn’t count. He thinks about all of the girls in his class but he can’t imagine himself dating any of them. If he really thought about it, he could imagine himself dating a boy, though. Despite the fact that Kihyun really is just his best friend, it’s not like he’s never thought about what it would be like if they were together. They’ve both been bullied for being a couple for long enough that Minhyuk couldn’t really avoid thinking about it.

Deep down, Minhyuk knows he’s already confirmed it for himself. He’s still scared, though, so he decides just to let it be for a while and come back to it when he feels more comfortable with accepting himself.

Maybe he’ll just talk to Kihyun about it. Kihyun has always known what to say when Minhyuk starts overthinking and worrying. There’s no one else who Minhyuk trusts more than he trusts Kihyun, either, so he figures that might be his best option.

 

* * *

It’s about a week later and Minhyuk doesn’t think he’s ever been nervous about going over to Kihyun’s house before. He spends most of his time with Kihyun, whether that’s at his own house or at Kihyun’s house, so he really has no reason to be nervous. It’s just Kihyun, after all. The reason Minhyuk is so nervous, though, is because he’s decided he’s going to talk to Kihyun about his sexuality today. He’s been thinking about it a lot over the past week and he knows that talking to someone about it will help him. He’s pretty certain he has it figured out but he feels like he just needs to say it out loud so it finally sinks in for him. There’s no one else he’d rather talk to about this than Kihyun and he knows that his friend always has good advice.

Minhyuk knows Kihyun would never judge him for anything, but that doesn’t help settle his nerves much.

He realises he’s been standing outside of Kihyun’s door for longer than is probably socially acceptable and decides to finally knock. He waits for a few seconds before he can hear the sound of someone running down the stairs. Then, the door swings open and he’s greeted by Kihyun’s smiling face.

Minhyuk does his best to smile back but he knows it comes out as more of a grimace.

“Are you okay?” Kihyun asks, frowning.

Minhyuk simply nods. He can see that Kihyun wants to say something but he drops it and lets Minhyuk inside. Minhyuk’s thankful that Kihyun didn’t try and pry any further even though it’s very obvious that Minhyuk is definitely _not_ okay, despite saying he is. He knows Kihyun will wait until Minhyuk is ready to talk about it rather than prying.

Kihyun goes upstairs to his room, Minhyuk following silently after once he’s closed the front door behind him. Once he gets to Kihyun’s room, Minhyuk just lays down on Kihyun’s bed and sighs.

Kihyun’s sitting on the bed next to him and he looks over at Minhyuk but doesn’t say anything. Without a word, he grabs the remote from his desk and turns on some crappy daytime TV programme. Minhyuk is thankful for the background noise as it helps distract him from his thoughts just a bit.

Minhyuk can see that Kihyun is looking at the TV but he doesn’t seem to be actually focusing on it. Minhyuk knows Kihyun too well so he knows that the other boy is probably lost in thought.

“Lay with me,” Minhyuk whispers. Kihyun complies. He lifts his hand and hesitates so Minhyuk grabs his hand first.

Kihyun doesn’t speak but he smiles at Minhyuk.

For a while, Minhyuk is content to just lay there with Kihyun with the faint chatter in the background coming from the TV. He knows he can’t just keep avoiding saying anything, though. He’d come to Kihyun’s with a plan and he needed to just talk to his friend.

“Kihyun.” It comes out so quietly that Minhyuk is surprised Kihyun hears him but he does and he rolls over so he’s on his side, facing Minhyuk.

“What’s going on?” Kihyun asks.

Minhyuk swallows. He can feel his heart rate start to speed up and his hands are starting to sweat. He expects Kihyun to pull away, but he doesn’t. He keeps running his thumb over Minhyuk’s hand. It helps to calm Minhyuk slightly. “I’ve been thinking about some stuff and I’m not really sure but I could be? I don’t know it’s all so confusing and scary and-“

Kihyun brings his other hand over Minhyuk’s mouth, stopping him from talking. “You’re rambling. Start from the beginning.” He takes his hand away from Minhyuk’s mouth and places it on his chest instead.

Minhyuk nods and takes a deep breath. “I think I might be gay.” He feels like his heart might beat out of his chest any second. He wants to pull away from Kihyun and just run away and hide but he can’t do that. Instead, he rolls and buries his face in Kihyun’s neck. He’s terrified.

Then, Kihyun says something that Minhyuk definitely wasn’t expecting. “Me too.”

Minhyuk looks up at Kihyun’s face. Although Kihyun had sounded confident when he spoke, Minhyuk can see the vulnerability on his face. “I guess we have more in common than we thought,” Minhyuk jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Kihyun gives a small smile and Minhyuk takes it as a win. “How did you know?”

Kihyun just shrugs. “I always had an idea that I might like boys. I’ve never had an interest in any girls but then one day I heard someone mention the word gay and it just clicked for me.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

Kihyun smiles sadly. “It’s not been easy. I’ve been terrified for so long that you’ll leave me when you found out and think there’s something wrong with me.”

“I could never leave you, Kihyun.” Minhyuk lets himself drop back down so he’s completely laying on top of Kihyun. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

* * *

After Minhyuk talked to Kihyun about his sexuality nothing changed, not that he’d expected anything to. He does feel like he’s far more aware of how he and Kihyun act around each other now, though. He isn’t worrying about it on purpose, but he can’t help but start to be concerned about how others may view their relationship or what Kihyun himself might think.

Minhyuk is pretty sure he only sees Kihyun as his best friend. Mostly sure, anyway. It’s not like he has any idea what having feelings for someone is even like. He knows he loves Kihyun and wouldn’t be able to live without him but what really is the line between platonic and romantic feelings? Minhyuk isn’t so sure.

He can’t even say for sure why he’s suddenly worrying about it now - it’s never bothered him before. He’s always been touchy with Kihyun and it’s never been a problem, so why is it to him now?

Kihyun notices that something’s up with Minhyuk as he asks him about it one day after school. “Is something wrong? You keep acting a bit strange ever since our talk the other day,” he says.

“Why would something be wrong?” Minhyuk knows exactly what Kihyun’s referring to but he doesn’t want to have this talk so he does his best to fake ignorance.

Kihyun doesn’t believe him. “You’re acting weird, Min. You keep freezing if I even touch you. What’s up?”

Minhyuk sighs. “I just keep overthinking. I’m worried that if I’m clingy with you people will somehow realise I’m gay and I’m not ready for that.”

“It was never a problem before right?” he asks.

Minhyuk shakes his head, of course it wouldn’t have ever been a problem.

“Then it doesn’t have to be a problem now either. We’re still best friends like we always have been. We can still hug and be clingy and neither of our sexualities will change that, okay?”

Minhyuk nods. He knows Kihyun is right, there’s no difference between now and before they discussed their sexualities and Minhyuk is making a big deal out of nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk whispers. 

Kihyun tuts at Minhyuk. “Don’t say sorry, silly.”

 

* * *

It’s the end of the school day and Minhyuk is waiting for Kihyun by the gates. He’s had a bit of a hard day – he wasn’t focusing in class because he was too busy daydreaming and his teacher called him out and embarrassed him – so he’s hoping to ask Kihyun to do something with him. He’s already called his parents to ask for permission to stay out after school and they were fine with it, so now he only has Kihyun left to ask. 

He spots his friend walking over to him and grins. Seeing his best friend always manages to cheer him up no matter how terrible his day has been.

Once Kihyun is close enough to hear him, Minhyuk asks, “Do you want to go see a movie?”

Kihyun nods, smiling, then adds, “Are you asking me on a date, Lee Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk knows he’s only joking, it’s a joke both of them make frequently, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling his heart rate pick up. He’d finally stopped worrying about their relationship and how other people perceive it but now he was worrying again. Before he could start overthinking and panicking, Minhyuk replies, “I am, actually.” It’s easier for him to just play along with the joke rather than start worrying about it.

Kihyun looks taken aback, rightfully so as he knows how Minhyuk’s been acting lately regarding their relationship, but recovers quickly. “Last one to the cinema has to pay!” Kihyun dashes off before Minhyuk even has a chance to register what he’s said.

 

* * *

“You’re so slow,” Kihyun complains through his panting. Minhyuk hadn’t even had a chance to catch up to Kihyun. He was a much faster runner than Minhyuk as well as getting a head start on him. 

“You cheated,” Minhyuk whines. 

Kihyun, maturely, sticks his tongue out at Minhyuk. “Sore loser.”

Minhyuk wants to argue but he’s too out of breath and he knows Kihyun will win. He always does. 

After they’ve both caught their breath again, they decide to head into the cinema. There aren’t that many movies on and none that Minhyuk has really heard about. There’s a horror movie showing that sounds interesting but the age rating is too high for them to get in so instead they agree on some new action movie.

“What do you want to order?” Kihyun asks while they wait in the queue to buy the tickets and some food. 

“I thought I was paying because I lost the race?”

Kihyun shakes his head. “I’m paying this time. You can pay on the next date.” He winks before bursting into laughter. “What do you want, though? I really am paying.”

Minhyuk reads over the options on the board before settling on popcorn and a large drink. It’s pretty pricy, as cinema food always is, and he tells Kihyun that he’s absolutely paying next time they do anything. 

“Next time? Does that mean you’re hoping for a second date?” Kihyun jokes. 

Minhyuk knows it’s a joke. They always do this. He was the one who played along with the joke in the first place. It doesn’t help to stop his heart from beating so hard though. He’s not even sure why it is. Minhyuk knows Kihyun is just his best friend so it doesn’t make sense to him. Doing his best to ignore it as he doesn’t want to ruin their fun by overthinking, Minhyuk replies, “Only if you make this the best first date.”

Kihyun grins. “Is that a challenge?”

Although Minhyuk nods, he’s not sure whether it was the right decision.

With their popcorn and drinks bought, they decide to go find their seats ready for the movie to start. 

Kihyun has picked seats towards the back where he knows Minhyuk prefers to sit so Minhyuk is pleased. He hates having to look up to see the screen in the lower seats. 

There are adverts playing, as always, and Minhyuk is starting to get impatient waiting for them to end. That’s the one thing he hates about cinemas – the ridiculously long adverts before the movie even starts playing.

Minhyuk is munching on his popcorn and reaches for another handful when another hand grabs his and stops him. Minhyuk looks up at Kihyun, furrowing his brows. 

“If you don’t stop eating your popcorn now you won’t have any left before the movie starts,” Kihyun explains. 

Minhyuk nods in understanding. It makes sense. What doesn’t make sense, though, is that Kihyun hasn’t let go of his hand which has left them awkwardly holding hands over Minhyuk’s popcorn.

Kihyun tugs slightly but his grip doesn’t loosen and Minhyuk realises that he wants to move their hands closer to himself and into a more comfortable position. Minhyuk obliges but he still doesn’t completely understand why Kihyun is holding his hand. 

 

* * *

Halfway into the movie and Kihyun still hasn’t let go. Minhyuk leans over to him and whispers, “Why are we still holding hands?”

“You told me to make this the best first date and I can’t do that if I don’t hold your hand.”

Kihyun was always competitive, so it makes sense as to why he took Minhyuk’s ‘challenge’ seriously. Minhyuk decides not to reply. Kihyun doesn’t let go, either. They focus back on the movie for another few minutes before Kihyun is leaning over to Minhyuk and whispering, “This is boring. Should we go get food instead?”

Minhyuk nods and gets up quickly, pulling Kihyun along behind him as their hands were still attached. The movie had been boring Minhyuk and he’d been hoping Kihyun would suggest they leave. 

Once they’re outside and can talk freely without whispering, Kihyun asks, “Where do you want to go?”

Minhyuk hums, considering the options. “Anywhere that does pizza,” he decides. 

“There’s a pizza place nearby.” Kihyun leads Minhyuk away from the cinema and to the place he’d mentioned.

Once they reach it Minhyuk realises he’s been there one before (with Kihyun, of course) and it’d been the best pizza he thinks he’s ever had. “I forgot about this place.”

Kihyun smiles. “I know you did. That’s why I brought you back here.”

It’s thankfully not very busy inside – they had come at a strange time, after all – so it’s easy to get seated. Minhyuk doesn’t even look over the menu for long before deciding to get a pizza with everything on it. 

Kihyun laughs. “Everything?”

“Yes, everything. Want to make it extra large and share?”

Kihyun scans over the menu once more before nodding. “Nothing to lose, I guess.”

It doesn’t take long for the pizza to arrive once they’ve ordered and as soon as Minhyuk sees it he realises that getting everything on it might not have been the best idea. The waiter gives them a weird look, too, obviously confused as to why they’d ordered so many toppings. 

“We’re never going to finish this,” Minhyuk mutters, cutting himself a slice. He looks up only to see that glint in Kihyun’s eyes and knows he’s made a mistake. 

Kihyun, ever competitive, asks, “Is that another challenge?”

Minhyuk shakes his head, but it’s no use. Kihyun’s already made it his mission to eat as much of the pizza as he can as quickly as he can. 

Minhyuk doesn’t want to lose so he does the same, eating as many slices as quickly as possible until it hurts his stomach.

They finish the pizza and in record time, but Minhyuk isn’t sure the pain in his stomach is worth it. “That was a mistake,” he whines. 

“But we finished it. And what good date ends without stuffing yourself full with pizza?”

Minhyuk can’t disagree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos & comments appreciated!
> 
> twitter is @changkihyks!

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments appreciated!


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